After a vampire leaves his native Balkans, he murders a Czech artist, assumes his identity, and moves in with the dead man's American cousins.
Nightclub entertainer Hap Smith has a new act since his former partner Chick Allen joined the army. With his lovely new female partner, Hap now plays a clownish parody of a soldier. When Chick organises a soldier show at Fort Benning, he realizes he needs his former partner's help—so, to get onto the base, Hap impersonates a hapless real soldier, but circumstances force them to prolong the masquerade, creating an increasingly tangled Army-sized SNAFU.
Meeting in a navy recruiting line, Al Crowthers and Melvin Jones become friends. Al has tried to enlist before, but was always rejected. He keeps trying so that he can impress women. Melvin, is allergic to women's cosmetics and his doctor prescribed ocean travel, so he decided to join the navy.
