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A naive couple leave their small town for success in London's adult entertainment culture.
Lord Wingate, aquitted after appearing in court for fraud, starts up a 'finishing school' to teach girls how to extract money from rich men, in return for a percentage of their gains. He enlists the help of the Duchess of Burwood as a teacher and Hector as fitness instructor. A probation officer friend supplies the first batch of pupils fresh from Holloway prison via a clapped out old mini bus. Suspicious neighbours and police together with newspaper reports naming the prison girls now hobnobbing in high society results in a raid and new court appearance for Lord Wingate. The Judge sentences him but plots to start up his own 'school for sex'.
A funny thing happens to Lurcio on the way to the rent-a-vestal-virgin market stall. A mysterious scroll falls into his hands, listing the names of all the conspirators plotting to murder Emperor Nero. And when the upstart slave is elected to infiltrate the ringleader's den, the comical ups-and-downs lead to total uproar.
BEACHED tells the surreal story of two days in the lives of Paul and Angela. Together for years, Angela longs for Paul to pop the question but Paul doesn't believe in marriage. Angela persuades herself he doesn't believe in them and leaves him. In his drunken quest for solace, Paul begins a journey of self-discovery - with a little help from two talking mannequins and a relationship-counselling panda - to try to overcome his fear of commitment. Question is: will it be in time? Shot on 35mm anamorphic on location in Swansea and the Gower Peninsula in the spring of 2007 by Welsh director Hefin Rees and producer Ben Pickering, BEACHED screened at the Cannes Short Film Corner and the Strasbourg International Film Festival in 2009. It features the final screen appearance of the late Welsh rugby legend Ray Gravell.
