After his family moves to a new house, a young boy discovers a mysterious book that details a curse hanging over the date of Saturday the 14th. Opening the book releases a band of monsters into the house and the family must join together to save themselves and their neighborhood.
Bernie Fishbine is overweight. He stops at the neighborhood store to buy some chocolate kisses every day. This is where he meets Theresa Garabaldi. Then they take the same bus route every evening. Theresa invites Bernie to see her play piano at her father's restaurant. It is here that she gets him to join a gym. Theresa is in college and gets the idea to write about Bernie's weight problem for her thesis. She does this without telling Bernie. Meanwhile, Bernie is falling in love with Theresa, and vice versa.
Mild-mannered mystery writer D. H. Mercer has become so immersed in his material that his creation, hard-boiled private eye Biff Deegan, constantly appears to him as a hallucination. Intent on getting rid of Biff, and replacing him with a more civilized detective, Mercer soon finds himself in a genuine mystery involving art fraud, murder, and a beautiful lady in peril.
