Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

By: Louisa Moore / www.ScreenZealots.com

This film was screened at Fantastic Fest

Maybe I just don’t “get” the horrendous “Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle.” Is this one of those movies that’s so god-awful that it becomes cool to hate-watch it, or was this made with artistic sincerity? It’s sad because I don’t think writer / director James Nguyen set out to purposely make a bad movie, but this is one of the worst things I have ever seen. It’s not fun to watch, it is not enjoyably bad, and this film should swiftly be tossed where it belongs: straight in the garbage bin.

In what could be the worst public service announcement about global warming and climate change ever, the movie tells the story of Evan (Ryan Lord), a gerontologist who studies human aging and his relationship with marine biologist Kim (Julia Culbert). Most of the story consists of clunky dialogue about how ocean temperatures are rising and sea life is dying from the acidic water. Blah, blah, blah, let’s get to the furiously crazed birds because then the movie will pick up steam, right? Guess again.

The film is a sequel to the 2010 cult classic “Birdemic Shock and Terror,” and it follows a similar filmmaking formula: grab a camera and create a movie without a care in the world. The production values are absolutely horrendous, from the inconsistent sound and lighting to the hackneyed camerawork and labored acting. The special effects look like something an untalented 6-year-old could whip up in ten minutes on the family room computer. The script is equally awful, with an especially painful scene about healthy eating. If this is supposed to be played for laughs, it’s not working.

I wholeheartedly admit and agree that it can be fun to watch second-rate movies (“Sharknado,” “The Room,” “Troll 2”) and get a good laugh, and there sometimes is pleasure to be found in crappy films. But in order to provide any sort of amusement, a movie still has to be passably watchable. “Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle” is not. Some movies become cult classics for a reason, and just because it’s bad doesn’t make it good. I would not impose this film on my worst enemy, and I highly recommend you do not subject yourself to this 83 minutes of pure torture.